Your child will notice when you repair

So celebrate those moments of relational modelling

I was shouting up the stairs for help with groceries on Friday and it wasn’t coming as fast as I wanted. It was probably because he was wearing headphones and maybe because my tone was getting snappy. Then my toddler joined in: “Da-daaaa! And suddenly help came running. We laughed about it and put the groceries away and while we did it, we played some music in the kitchen. It brightened my mood, because I was still a little hurt about all the ignored calls.

Then he said, “I was about to answer anyway when your little helper started calling, sorry I was miles away.” I wanted to get annoyed about it again, but there was a moment of repair sitting right in front of me, so instead I conceded, “I should have walked up to you instead of shouting.” We shared a little hug and our little girl climbed up on my feet to join in too…followed by the dog.

He should have answered me sooner, and I should have stopped shouting and given him grace, but actually our daughter learned much more from us getting it a little bit wrong. That moment taught her that relationships rupture and can still be intact. Some day I know I’ll be shouting up the stairs to her, and hopefully when she eventually comes down, we can have a hug too.