m kind of the opposite—I hate doing housework, especially because it feels like a chore when it’s not even my own place (we rent). But the second someone’s coming over? Suddenly I’m scrubbing like it’s a royal visit 😅
Such an interesting perspective that was also touched on in the comment below - the way that other people can influence how we engage with or relate to household tasks (and potentially a fear of negative evaluation). Thank you for sharing!
It’s wild how much our motivation can shift when we know someone else might see or judge our space. Almost like a form of negative reinforcement—where the potential for disapproval pushes us into action, even if we’d normally ignore it. I wonder how much of our daily behaviour is shaped by that quiet pressure?
This post resonated with me so much! Seems so specific but actually it’s very relatable to most mothers I would say. Another aspect that came up for me when reading is the impact of having someone come to your home - e.g. if you have someone coming to help you with childcare or visiting, that’s extra pressure again to keep the house in better shape, even if at other times you manage to let go of it a little bit
Thank you Aoife! Such a good point also about people visiting and the additional sense of internal pressure this can place on us which can be linked to fear of judgment or negative evaluation - which is interesting in itself in terms of what it might be that informs our assumptions about how other people hold us in mind and what might contribute to that. Also how visiting other people’s homes can bring up automatic comparisons for us. Thank you for sharing
m kind of the opposite—I hate doing housework, especially because it feels like a chore when it’s not even my own place (we rent). But the second someone’s coming over? Suddenly I’m scrubbing like it’s a royal visit 😅
Such an interesting perspective that was also touched on in the comment below - the way that other people can influence how we engage with or relate to household tasks (and potentially a fear of negative evaluation). Thank you for sharing!
It’s wild how much our motivation can shift when we know someone else might see or judge our space. Almost like a form of negative reinforcement—where the potential for disapproval pushes us into action, even if we’d normally ignore it. I wonder how much of our daily behaviour is shaped by that quiet pressure?
This post resonated with me so much! Seems so specific but actually it’s very relatable to most mothers I would say. Another aspect that came up for me when reading is the impact of having someone come to your home - e.g. if you have someone coming to help you with childcare or visiting, that’s extra pressure again to keep the house in better shape, even if at other times you manage to let go of it a little bit
Thank you Aoife! Such a good point also about people visiting and the additional sense of internal pressure this can place on us which can be linked to fear of judgment or negative evaluation - which is interesting in itself in terms of what it might be that informs our assumptions about how other people hold us in mind and what might contribute to that. Also how visiting other people’s homes can bring up automatic comparisons for us. Thank you for sharing